Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The viewing

Michael's viewing was last night. It's incredible how many lives he touched in his 17 short years. There were dozens and dozens of teenagers there as well as adults. All of them said how much Michael meant to them. They came from all walks of live. He lived in three different towns and kids from every school were there. There were the skaters, party kids, football team and everyone in between. How many people can have friends in every group? Michael somehow managed it. He was that special of a kid.

We couldn't have an open casket, so my photos of him were placed all around the room. Him playing the guitar, hanging out with his family, playing video games with my son, dancing at his aunt's wedding, etc... I took his first photo and his last. I'm not sure if it was easier to not be able to see him, but we didn't have a choice. He'll be buried with his guitar, skateboard, combat boots, pack of Camels and a bottle of beer as well as letters from all of us and photos.

We had his favorite punk and metal music playing all night. Seasons in the Sun (the remake) and My Blue Eyed Son were hard to listen to. Then a CD of Michael singing and playing his guitar came on. I couldn't stop crying then.

The kids started leaving things for Michael around and on his coffin. We had a memory book for them to write in. The line to get out were as long as the one to get in. Everyone wanted to share a special memory. The kids sat on the floor and cried and held each other. They didn't want to leave his side. One boy told how Michael saved his life. He wanted to commit suicide, but Michael talked him out of it. Kids talked about how Michael was always himself. He didn't care what people thought. He wouldn't change for anyone.

Today is his funeral, I'm not sure how I'll make it through this one. How can I say good bye to him? I was with his mom when she picked out where he'll go in the cemetery and it was almost more than she could bear. The thought of such a beautiful boy being lowered into the cold ground makes me so furious! Why Michael? There were two other kids in that car and they both walked away without a scratch. I'll never understand why our boy had to be taken. He was truly a good kid, polite, sweet and loving. No, he wasn't perfect and liked his beer a bit much, but what kid doesn't? All he was doing was driving to school. Now he's gone forever.

Oh, Michael, I miss you.


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