I knew today would happen, no matter how badly I tried to wish it away. It still snuck up on me and here I sit, crying at the computer. There are a couple poems at the end that always make me cry, but they fit today so well, I had to include them.
A year ago today at just about 1 p.m., my dearest friend died. I loved him more than I could ever put in words and he felt the same way. His formal name was Lord Adonis Yoshi, but he never stood on formality and he was Adonis or my Yoshi boy. He was the most gorgeous Golden Retriever ever born. Sweet, kind and loving and loyal. Human friends betray, but he never did. He was always there. My rock, my love, my beloved, Mein Engel.
He was so much more than just that though. He always knew when I needed him and would just be there. I've cried rivers in his soft fur. If I wanted to walk, he was always ready, if I wanted to just be a couch potato and eat carrots, he was ready for that, too. (He loved baby carrots and would do all sorts of tricks to get one.) When the pain was too bad for even a sight touch of his sweet head on my leg, he'd just lie there beside me, not too close to hurt, but just so his presence could give me strength. He could always make me laugh just by doing something silly.
When the day came to say good bye, we went on our normal morning hike, came home and took footprints in plaster cast. They didn't turn out too well, but they're all I have left. I took him to McDonalds for a final treat, then it was good bye. I felt his final breath on my face and the last things he heard were, "I love you. Gehst Du nach Hause und Wartezeit für mich, meine Liebchen."
I miss him more every day. I realize some people won't ever understand the bond between a person and the right animal. "Get another dog" is the advice I keep hearing. No, there can't be another dog. When you were blessed with the perfect dog, nothing else can even come close and I can't do that to myself or the dog. We still have his mate Aphrodite and I do love her dearly, but she's not my boy.
I truly believe I'll see him again. He's just waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge.
Until we meet again, I'll love you forever and a day.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here,
that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all
of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is
plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and
vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again,
just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The
animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each
miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly
stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His
eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying
over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally
meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the
beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your
pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
I STOOD BY YOUR BED LAST NIGHT
I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peek.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew,
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.
~ Author unknown
Labels: Adonis, I Stood by Your Bed Last Night, Rainbow Bridge